|In a world where half the people don’t eat gluten
are PTA bake sales even a thing?
I’m a PTA mom now. Kind of. Okay not really. But I could be, theoretically. And it’s nice to have options, I guess.
M’s school sent home a “War and Peace” sized packet of beginning of the year paperwork which included a cheerful, salmon colored PTA sign up form. My husband and I both stared at it like it was radioactive.
Me: “You know, I’ve never really thought about it before but I think I’m prejudiced against PTAs. I’ve got all of these negative associations with them and they can’t be fact based because I’ve never been within 10 miles of a real life PTA before.”
Him: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Like I’m pretty sure if I fill out this form I’ll have to start using a blow dryer, dressing up for barbecues, and driving a Subaru. But I know that’s irrational. Still what if this is the first step down a path that ends in me throwing down “Mean Girls”-style over the theme of the all school talent show?”
Him: “It says the PTA’s mission is to assist and support the school. We’re pro those things, right? Kind of like how we’re pro learning yet anti kitten squishing…”
Me: “Yeah… And it also says “no commitment or obligations, just send us a check and volunteer if you feel like it.” Everything’s epically underfunded so I can see why they’d need money… But what if it’s a trap?”
Him: “We survived two years at a co-op preschool. All of those meetings and hours in the classroom are probably kind of like the PTA. And co-op wasn’t so bad. We got to have wine at the meetings. Though maybe this PTA has morning meetings so probably no wine…”
Me: “So… maybe we sign up so we at least have the option of attending the meetings or bake sales or whatever? And worst case scenario we’re inundated with emails from Type A Power Player Parents who we have to say “no” to a lot? I don’t know… This all seems pretty straight forward. Maybe TOO straightforward… How did they kidnap the people in “The Stepford Wives” again? That information seems relevant.”
I’m leaning towards signing up for the PTA. Probably it’s not a trap, right? Can you guys promise to stage an intervention if I start talking about “super-cute FUN-raising activities?”