Usually I spend Sundays getting ready for the week ahead.
“Do we all have, you know, *pants* to wear for the next week? Like if the fridge breaks down (AGAIN) or work explodes (AGAIN) or someone gets sick (AGAIN), will we at least be able to say, “That sucks. But no worries. At least there’s no way we’ll be pants-less?” I should probably throw a load of laundry in the washer…”
“Oh. And food. We’re going to need to eat food. Ok… I’m not home Tuesday night, he gets home late Wednesday night, none of us around on Thursday night, she’s not home Friday. And by Friday night no one’s going to want to go within 50 feet of anything that requires actual work; let alone plan, shop for, and prepare an entire meal. Plus we’re all going to want to do crazy things like “eat breakfast and lunch.” And we’re still doing that “SNAP Challenge” thing. This will require some acrobatic math.”
“And what am I doing with myself this week? ::: looks at calendar ::: Hm. I should probably review my notes for that meeting. And figure out when I’m going to get that article written. And… oof. Yeah. That piece. Well. I don’t even know where I start with that one… So… I need a morning to do research I guess?”
“Oooh look! There’s a conference this week I said I’d go to. Am I going to that? I feel like I *should*. It’s “networking.” But I always feel like a huge douchebag when I’m like, “No, see… I’m not being a phony. I’m going to sit in a hotel conference room with a bunch of people in my field while someone gives a speech that everyone’s only listening to so they have a way to make small talk over cheap wine afterwards. I know it sounds like super-depressing post modern performance art. But I’m really *networking*. It’s Very Important. Everyone knows that.” Do I have appropriate outfits that I can wear to any of this stuff? I mean, I know pants for the week are covered, but “appropriate networking outfits” is a whole other thing…”
And the list goes on…
Here’s the kicker: As far as people in this world go, I’m not even really busy. People have, like, 18 kids. Or they work three jobs while going to school, because they want to study the meaning of life or learn to save people who’ve been in car wrecks.
I’m not even that busy for the “me’s” of this world: I can distinctly remember a time in my life where there were days I did not shower because it would reduce my sleep time by 20 minutes, and that trade in was unacceptable.
Despite being not-that-busy, I feel busy. I wonder if it’s just that I’ve got the wrong attitude and am therefore unable to bask in the bliss of my not-that-busy-ness? Or are we just all “leaning-in” too hard? Unless you’re spending all your waking hours doing Very Important Things, you feel like you’re un-busy and therefore should be exuding some sort of blissed out calm worthy of a Hawaiian vacation.
Or maybe we value “busy-ness,” in and of itself, so much that we’ve declared too many things to be Very Important Things.
I don’t know. Life is complicated. At least I can bask in the knowledge that, if nothing else, for the next week my family and I have pants.