Things that make me go hmmmmmmm… (And if this song is in your head right now, you’re welcome):
1. Big Bird is a six year old who lives in some type of self-constructed nest-based shanty. Oscar lives in a trash pile on a stoop. No one on Sesame Street has offered Big Bird or Oscar a place to stay. This comment has been brought to you by the letters “T” and “B” for “Those bastards!”
2. Ice creams trucks are essentially windowless vans driven by strangers who intend to lure your children in with treats. How is that not creepy?
3. “Wow! I’m super glad you knocked on my door to make random, uninformed judgments about my lifestyle, spiritual needs, and general contentment level! I’m so glad you’ve opened my eyes to Scientology! I’m converting!” said Nobody Ever. How is annoying people door to door an effective strategy for spreading the word about your religion?
4. The “Mommy wars” get a lot of coverage and yet I’ve never met a mother at war with another mother. Are there any actual real life “Mommies at war” where women are screaming things like, “Do not DARE darken my door step with your extended breast-feeding self, you attachment parent practicing WHORE!” and “Little Sally’s mother works outside the home?! OH MY GOD NO! THAT BITCH MUST NOT LOVE HER CHILDREN!”?
5. Confusing “specific” with “Pacific.” OMG, one’s an ocean.
6. Preschool level camps, classes, or sports groups that strongly emphasize timely arrival. Are there parents who routinely leave the house in a timely fashion with their preschoolers? Because I’m thinking maybe that’s like asking if there are unicorns.
7. Saying, “I have a lot of followers” or “I’m focusing on gaining followers” is a perfectly acceptable e-statement and that’s kind of remarkable because if you talk off line about how you really want to gain followers you sound like the leader of a cult.
8. The Real Housewive of Anywhere Ever are neither housewives nor particularly real. Discuss.
9. Why do you frequently see descriptors like, “Mrs./Ms. Jones, attorney and mother of 2” but almost never descriptors like “Mr. Jones, senior project engineer and father of 3” when you read business oriented articles?
10. Products like salt have “Follow us on Twitter and Facebook!” on their packaging. Why do people want to follow salt? It’s salt. Is salt going to suggest recipes that involve salt? Because I’m pretty sure I can find plenty of those without salt tweeting at me. Clearly there’s some kind of social media bubble happening. Will food demanding that we “follow it” be to the 2010’s what “low fat” was to 1990’s?
This is my first link up with Monday Listicles (a Monday top ten list with a weekly rotating topic) over at Northwest Mommy. Head over to see what makes other people go “hmmm”!
This week’s topic was suggested by the Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms.