|Some people are left to wonder which of their physical
features makes a memorable first impression.
Others are not.
One of the stranger things about having my kid start kindergarten at the neighborhood elementary school is seeing people from around the neighborhood at her school. I know I should have expected that because DUH but for whatever reason it didn’t occur to me.
Here’s what goes through my mind at drop off:
Oh hey! It’s the face tattoo stock boy guy from the market. He has a kid that’s the same age as my kid?! Why am I surprised by this? I mean, of course he has a life outside of organic cauliflower and debatable body art.
And there’s the lady who drives the world’s cleanest Subaru and dresses like it’s her personal responsibility to keep Lulu Lemon in business. I wonder if her kid plays with Face Tattoo Guy’s kid…
I wonder what they would make small talk about? Maybe pumpkin spice lattes. I’ve seen them both drinking those. Which also kind of surprised me about Face Tattoo Guy because when I see a face tattoo I think “ear biting” or “weed” not “Starbucks.”
Wow. I have a lot of stereotypes about face tattoos. I wonder what that’s about. I’ve never had more than a passing acquaintance with anyone who had one though one of the baristas at my favorite coffee shop has a bunch and she seems really great. So maybe I’ve just got a bunch of judgmental assumptions about dudes with face tattoos. I blame you, Mike Tyson…
Oh God the barista lady is here too! My kid goes to the School with all the Face Tattoos! I did not see that coming.
Look! It’s the lady who lives in that one house that goes nuts with the Christmas decorations. And that really young looking bald guy. The woman who drives the car with the dalek bumper sticker! The dude who always wears Carharts! The burqa lady! The woman who sounds like Maude Flanders! The chick I saw paddle boarding that one time! The guy I was behind in line at the market who refers to Rainier beer as “Vitamin R!”
And here I am wearing skinny jeans and a t-shirt from the Gap. I wonder what they think of me… Am I “that generic lady who is afraid of patterns?” Or “the very awkward jogger?” See… that’s the advantage of the face tattoo: you never have to wonder about what the first thing people notice about you might be…