Rape is wrong. “Real rape” is any type of non-consensual sex.
The best, most effective way to prevent sexual assault is to not sexually assault people.
Why, you might ask, do I feel compelled to tell you this when the Steubenville rape case has been so front and center this weekend that I am quite probably the 87th person who has mentioned it to you since lunch?
So glad you asked:
I go through periods where I barely blog at all because I’m neither doing anything particularly noteworthy nor experiencing an urge to spin the mundane into an anecdote worth reading.
A kid does something cute and her parents take pictures? STOP THE PRESSES. Politicians employ divisive, disingenuous rhetoric? IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET. Life can feel so hum drum sometimes.
I’m all for commentary but I don’t feel particularly moved to participate, much the same way I don’t share the freshman philosophy student’s need to expound at length on the mysteries of the human condition and how it’s all so mind blowing, you guys.
Yes. Yes it is. And that’s worth talking about. But given the boatload of people who have chipped in their virtually identical 2 cents, my throwing another couple pennies on the pile doesn’t really add anything to the discussion. If anyone needs me I’ll be over here in my corner feeling jaded.
The Steubenville rape case, however, makes me want jump on board the “been there, said that” band wagon. Because it needs to be a band wagon.
Unless a potential sexual partner has explicitly said “Yes,” assume “No.” And unconscious is not code for “Yes.”
This should go without saying. But clearly it has gone without saying too much.
As evidenced by Steubenville and the countless similar rapes that haven’t tweeted their way to national media attention, rape culture pervades our society.
I hope this case at least makes those of us who are wrapped up in our every day lives sit up and realize that the “consent is necessary” message does not have the level of wide spread traction we wish it did.
If your friend is getting rape-y then you’re obligated to stop them from sexually assaulting someone much like you’re obligated to stop your black out drunk buddy from getting behind the wheel. Friends do not let friends drive drunk. Friends also do not let friends rape.
Sexual assault is not okay.
Seriously. Let’s make that point so often, so loudly, and in so many ways that it becomes as widely repeated and easily accepted as “boys will be boys.” So come on! Join the band wagon!