Today I thought, “You know what, self? I’m going to exhaust my five year old. I’m going to give her the kind of summer day where she comes home tired, dirty, and happy and then falls asleep at the dinner table.” So we did 4 laps around the park (we’re training for a 1k), played at the beach, contorted ourselves in yoga poses for 90 minutes, and planted out the remainder of the deck garden. Then I fell asleep at the dinner table while she shrieked and ran in circles around the living room.
Sooooo… tonight I have for your reading pleasure one of my favorite past posts. I wrote it back in May 2012 when approximately 3 people were reading this blog so hopefully it will be new to you!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Ron the peacock and felony auto vandal.
Ron the peacock lived on grand English estate complete with a prototypical crazy aristocratic owner. Ron, being a peacock worth his salt and worthy of his estate, dutifully protected his turf from rival males. Only Ron confused rival male peacocks with blue cars and pecked and scratched the hell out of a blue Lexus to the tune of $10,000 damage.
While ornithologists (and pretty much everyone else) were in agreement that Ron’s Lexus vandalism was most likely the result of him confusing shiny blue car paint for the shiny blue feathers of other male peacocks during mating season, Sir Eccentric Guy was of the opinion that Ron attacked cars because he was gay. I’m not sure whether he meant that Ron was trying to mate with the Lexus he had mistaken for a male peacock or whether he meant that Ron, being gay, was naturally going to be prone to attempted car jacking so I’m unclear as to whether the crazy rich guy was actually in fundamental disagreement with the ornithologists.
Clearly they didn’t know about Ron because thanks to him when I think about peacocks I am entirely sure that their stabby little beaks and claws could mess me up like a Lexus during mating season. I therefore would not encourage my small child to get in a peacock’s face with a camera phone especially if the zoo has brought out the “Don’t Taunt The Birds. It Will Make Them VERY ANGRY” signs.
|To be fair, this particular peacock just strutted along condescendingly until he jumped through a fence into an employee’s only area and looked back at us all in disgust.|