I know what you’re thinking: I wish bloggers would talk more about themselves and how *they* feel. I KNOW, right? So today I’m linking up with “Monday Listicles: Birthday Edition” so that I can tell the internet how my ideal birthday would go.
1. My birthday would start with me sleeping in. I’m very passionate and serious about this issue. No wake up calls in the single digits under any circumstances unless the single digit is 1p.
2. Then breakfast in bed. And by “breakfast” I mean “whatever you call it when you eat bacon, eggs, and toast around lunch time.” See 1 above.
3. “How old are you?” STFU years old.
4. “How do you feel about surprise parties?” There’s probably an adjective that means “panic filled and stabby” but I can’t think of it right now because I’m too busy experiencing a minor onset of that actual emotion as a result of briefly thinking about surprise parties.
5. Dear husband, I’m in the “it’s the thought that counts” camp when it comes to gifts. By which I mean I’ve put a lot of thought into what I want as a gift and dropped a lot of subtle hints like, “I want this for my birthday. It fits our gift budget of $X. Here is where you get it.” Don’t pull a Women are so mysterious and talk in metaphors. How was I supposed to know what you wanted? That ends well for no one.
6. I reserve the right to nap at any time.
7. Spa days are always good. A massage, a pedicure, and some detoxing because…
8. Booze will be involved with any and all birthday evening activities.
9. Which isn’t at all inappropriate because household chores, primary childcare, operating heavy machinery, and any remotely resembling work will under no circumstances be involved with any birthday evening activities.
10. A nice meal out is a great way to cap off the day. I would say do not, under any circumstances, make the wait staff sing “Happy birthday.” But, better yet, let’s side step that possibility entirely and not go to T.G.I.OliveRobinBuffetbee’s McChain Restaurant. Let’s pick a place where a singing wait staff isn’t even an option because, instead of wacky waiters and ‘flare,’ they use gimmicks like “having good food” as a way to draw in customers.
So there you go, internet. Ten components vital to an ideal birthday. How would your ideal birthday go?